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Articles by Christian Schneider (page 2)

May 6, 2020 5:37 am

The Novel Coronavirus Praises The Plan to Reopen America

The following is a transcript of a press conference given by the coronavirus earlier this week.
Christian Schneider
April 22, 2020 5:18 am

Remember Who The Enemy Is

Everyone knows that a drama is often most compelling when it has an identifiable villain. But in real…
Christian Schneider
March 26, 2020 5:27 am

Trump Identifies the Real Victim of the COVID-19 Epidemic: Himself

When the coronavirus enters the human body, it uses microscopic spikes to attach itself to mucous cell membranes…
Christian Schneider
February 27, 2020 5:07 am

#NeverBernie Is Never Happening

Nope. Not gonna happen, McFly.
Christian Schneider
February 17, 2020 5:39 am

We Already Know What Trump Will Do Next

In the 1940s, Graham Greene entered a contest to write the best Graham Greene parody. He finished third. None of…
Christian Schneider
December 31, 2019 5:26 am

In Defense of Karens

Every generation wants to believe it’s special.
Christian Schneider
December 20, 2019 5:02 am

Team MAGA’s War on Literacy

Butchering the English language to own the libs.
Christian Schneider
November 18, 2019 5:16 am

Trump Is Even Wrong About “Witch Hunts”

Right now, Donald Trump lovers saddled with the burden of too much expendable income may head to his official campaign…
Christian Schneider
November 7, 2019 5:34 am

Republicans Need a “Witch Hunt.” Even If They Have to Manufacture One.

After 18 boxes of evidence supporting the Starr report were delivered to Congress in early September 1998, both Republican and…
Christian Schneider
October 25, 2019 5:38 am

Struggling with Demographic Changes, a Midwest School District Loses Control

Eliminating discipline doesn't eliminate consequences.
Christian Schneider