This is a video transcript. Watch Not My Party every Thursday on Snapchat.
Trump is telling people he might be reinstated by August? Why do I have to do this? I thought we were rid of him. Can’t he just go away?
People love to say that we Never-Trumpers are obsessed with Donald.
And yeah, maybe I do spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how a racist game show host almost ended our democracy. Ya got me. But honestly I would give anything, anything for him to just go the f**k away. That way you and me, we could talk about something else. Like UFO’s. (Spooky.) Or Jokić. (MVP.) Or Olivia. (It’s a bop.) Or the infrastructure package. (Substantial.) But we can’t, because this a*****e won’t let go of the ghost like every other normal, responsible political loser in history.
Look at our other recent one-term presidents. After Jimmy Carter lost, he built Habitat for Humanity houses, and started a nonprofit that basically eliminated the Guinea worm disease. Bet you didn’t know that. George H. W. Bush went skydiving and teamed up with the guy who beat him to help tsunami victims in Asia and earthquake victims in Haiti.
But helping others, not really our carrot-skinnned caudillo’s cup of tea. According to the New York Times And the conservative National Review, Trump’s been telling allies that he’s gonna be “reinstated” in August. Now this is a back bat-guano theory that he got from the seditious pillow man which is impossible unconstitutional, and frankly psychotic. He alluded to this crazy theory in a video he did for the National Republican Senate Committee. Which means that even the normal Republicans are letting him float it. Watch.
“We’re gonna take back the White House and sooner than you think.” [Trump]
Let me just be crystal clear: This is not happening. Donald Trump lost. He’s advancing this lie, the very same lie that led a mob to storm the Capitol, to make himself feel better.
“There’s a million of us out there. And we are listening to Trump. Your boss.” [Capitol rioter]
But just because Trump won’t be back in the White House soon, doesn’t mean that he won’t be tainting our politics. On Saturday in North Carolina, he put on what looked to be a diaper, and gave a rambly, boring speech re-litigating all the things he’s mad about from the past five years. The only actual pieces of news from the speech were: 1) implying he’s gonna run in 2024; and 2) revealing his endorsement in the North Carolina Senate primary. Choosing a pro-insurrection Congressman named Ted Budd—Lasso’s evil doppelgänger.
Look, the people that are actually obsessed with Trump are the Republicans running for office. They’re falling all over themselves to show their loyalty and flying to his gaudy golf clubs to beg for his support.
Ahead of this week’s New Jersey governor primary, one GOP candidate tweeted out a picture of himself in a “Trump Won” hat.
And down in Texas, my former boss’s son, George P. Bush, announced he was running for attorney general without mentioning his own dad or uncle. But the campaign did make this humiliating coozie, with a picture of George P. shaking Trump’s hand, and the quote, “the only Bush that likes me. This is the Bush that got it right.” So George P. is going all-in with a man who sent racist tweet insulting his own mother just so he can get the moniker ‘Trump’s Bush.’ . . .
Until s**t like that stops, and the Republicans no longer let a twice-impeached loser who cost the party the White House and Congress dictate everything they do, the rest of us can’t just wish Trump away. Whether we like it or not.