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As I sit here now I fear it is too late for any of this.

But after my husband died 4 years ago I started reading philosophy and found a new way of looking at life through the Stoics. People think they know what it is but don't, I didn't. There are some good books out there on it, including two by William Irvine, especially "The Stoic Challenge". Maybe will relieve your cynicism. One thought I like, "want what you have". And a recent one, "Marcus Aurelius Meditations." Maybe it will relieve the cynicism.

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