I’m trying to follow advice I would give to a grieving friend. Eat nutritious foods. Get outside. Exercise. Listen to soothing music. Spend time with other people.
Easier said than done. I have no appetite. I’m starting to dislike my soothing music, by association.
I’m trying to follow advice I would give to a grieving friend. Eat nutritious foods. Get outside. Exercise. Listen to soothing music. Spend time with other people.
Easier said than done. I have no appetite. I’m starting to dislike my soothing music, by association.
I was unexpectedly invited to the local symphony over the weekend. I was stunned by the impact of watching a large orchestra play together, as well as the beautiful, moving result. I think the endorphins blocked out the world for at least 24 hours. Recommended--especially when you don't know anything about what they are playing and have no expectation.
That’s a lovely image, Leslie. A symphony requires perfect cooperation to create a magnificent sum out of disparate parts. I wish we could emulate that. I remember it so clearly, after 9/11, not so long ago.
Doug, your writing gave me a needed moment of levity, even though you might not have intended it that way. It creates a conundrum in me because I feel the same, even as I feel paradoxically lonely, knowing how many people out there aren’t “friend material”.
Thanks, JF. My post to you was meant to have a wry humor, which means I meant what I said, although I wish I didn't.
Your original post was about grief, and that is exactly what I have been going through recently, especially this morning. Yesterday's news (Trump accusing Ukraine of starting the war, Ukraine having no representation at the Saudi conference which was a total betrayal of Ukraine; the illegal interference by Musk and his tech-goons into our government agencies and potentially destroying our social safety net programs; the attack on our science and health agencies; etc.) has put me even deeper into the grief spiral.
I live in a predominantly pro-Trump neighborhood in a red county in Florida, and most of the people I meet on a day-to-day basis are MAGAphiles. So, while our conversations are cordial, I feel completely restrained in what I can say, or I risk creating conflicts with my neighbors that I'm not ready to sustain at the expense of destroying whatever harmony remains.
I thought of calling my older brother, but since he voted for Trump and still trusts Trump, I can't talk to him about my complete frustrations and fears for the future of our country.
As Tim and JVL said on a podcast last night, we have become the baddies. Worse than we ever have been before.
I could go on, JF, but all this is just to say your reply was much appreciated. I knew right away that I could sit and "unload" a bit and you would understand.
Music is indeed one of the constant joys in my life (I am mostly a classical music fan, play classical music on the piano, but enjoy it all), and the post by Leslie describing her joy at the symphony and its lasting beneficial effects (at least for 24 hours), and your ready, empathetic response to her, truly made a depressing morning brightened with a few rays of hope.
I forgot to respond to your mention of music. I’m fairly eclectic in my tastes. In fact, since one grandson is very into Kendrick Lamar, I’ve been studying Lamar’s Superbowl half time show, by re-watching and reading online analyses. Since he has already won a Pulitzer, I shouldn’t be surprised at the layers of meaning below the surface within that performance. He truly is a visionary, and even though I don’t seek out his music, I’m enjoying learning that there’s a lot of politically subversive messaging going on. As Trump has taken over the Kennedy Center, it’s obvious once again that the arts can be a political weapon, both ways. And also just a simple pleasure and comfort.
Wonderful that your grandson can provide you guidance into the work of Kendrick Lamar!
About other great musicians taking a political stand:
I'm reminded of Beethoven crossing out his dedication to Napoleon on Symphony #3 when Napoleon declared himself emperor.
On the downside, did you hear that Trump also closed down the Kennedy Library? Not the Nixon Library, or the Reagan Library. I'm not sure whether that executive order has been reversed or not, but just the fact that it was issued in the first place is one more affront to history, education, and the arts.
Thanks, Doug, for letting me know I didn’t completely miss the mark by finding humor (bleak humor) in your written words. I feel for you, being surrounded by MAGAs. I live in Oregon, and they’re fewer in number here, although I had some fears of getting run down by a pickup truck when I attended our local President’s Day protest. I actually sent my adult children a reminder where my will is located. But the event was very strongly positive. I’d find it very difficult to have close family members who voted for Trump as you do, and feel fortunate not to deal with that burden. So many others here share that with you, apparently.
The attacks on science and health are so self-destructive and will be crippling for a long time. It’s been noted many times that destroying is easy; rebuilding is hard and time consuming. And the “official” lying is so egregious! I think the MAGA mindset of being “willing to die for Trump” will delay a correction even after the pain becomes obvious and personal.
As I told my children, we have the advantage of intelligence and education to hopefully give us survival tools. The uncertainty over the future is gnawing. My son is suffering huge self-recrimination for having brought life into this world, with a four year old and two year old to worry about. This really was the fabled make-or-break election. I struggle to find words of solace for him, without insulting his intelligence. I recently suggested he use a mindset of how he would parent a child with a terminal illness; he would give them the best life possible for whatever time they have left. What parent’s heart can survive that? He suffers for them, and I’m suffering for him.
Maybe ignorance is a better survival tool than intelligence?
I wish I had facile words for healing and hope. But that would just be more dishonesty. At least here we can share truth. For now. And the knowledge that we are not alone; that is surprisingly (and maybe illogically) comforting.
Let’s do our best with self-care. There’s no down side to that, and maybe even a future light. As you wrote; a few rays of hope. Be well, Doug, and thanks for your thoughts.
And thank you so much for your thoughtful words -- they touched me deeply.
And you have read me perfectly. I am indeed as depressed as I have been since the deaths of my parents two decades ago. I know... I should be happy I've been able to go that long without such a serious depression.
I understand completely how concerned your son is about the future for his children. Perhaps we can take some solace in the thought that enough people will begin to feel that same concern about their children and realize that, as our "child," this country is suffering from a deadly illness that requires all of us to work together to nurture it back to health. The Senators and Representatives must be the first and strongest to do so.
Thank you for your participation in the President's Day protest. I'm waiting for one close enough for me to join as well. Like you, I've told my sister where she can find all the necessary legal documents. She's happily agreed to adopt my pup as well, if necessary.
These are clearly depressing times. Unimagined even by those of us who knew this next Trump administration was going to be hell.
I’m trying to follow advice I would give to a grieving friend. Eat nutritious foods. Get outside. Exercise. Listen to soothing music. Spend time with other people.
Easier said than done. I have no appetite. I’m starting to dislike my soothing music, by association.
I was unexpectedly invited to the local symphony over the weekend. I was stunned by the impact of watching a large orchestra play together, as well as the beautiful, moving result. I think the endorphins blocked out the world for at least 24 hours. Recommended--especially when you don't know anything about what they are playing and have no expectation.
That’s a lovely image, Leslie. A symphony requires perfect cooperation to create a magnificent sum out of disparate parts. I wish we could emulate that. I remember it so clearly, after 9/11, not so long ago.
Doug, your writing gave me a needed moment of levity, even though you might not have intended it that way. It creates a conundrum in me because I feel the same, even as I feel paradoxically lonely, knowing how many people out there aren’t “friend material”.
Thanks, JF. My post to you was meant to have a wry humor, which means I meant what I said, although I wish I didn't.
Your original post was about grief, and that is exactly what I have been going through recently, especially this morning. Yesterday's news (Trump accusing Ukraine of starting the war, Ukraine having no representation at the Saudi conference which was a total betrayal of Ukraine; the illegal interference by Musk and his tech-goons into our government agencies and potentially destroying our social safety net programs; the attack on our science and health agencies; etc.) has put me even deeper into the grief spiral.
I live in a predominantly pro-Trump neighborhood in a red county in Florida, and most of the people I meet on a day-to-day basis are MAGAphiles. So, while our conversations are cordial, I feel completely restrained in what I can say, or I risk creating conflicts with my neighbors that I'm not ready to sustain at the expense of destroying whatever harmony remains.
I thought of calling my older brother, but since he voted for Trump and still trusts Trump, I can't talk to him about my complete frustrations and fears for the future of our country.
As Tim and JVL said on a podcast last night, we have become the baddies. Worse than we ever have been before.
I could go on, JF, but all this is just to say your reply was much appreciated. I knew right away that I could sit and "unload" a bit and you would understand.
Music is indeed one of the constant joys in my life (I am mostly a classical music fan, play classical music on the piano, but enjoy it all), and the post by Leslie describing her joy at the symphony and its lasting beneficial effects (at least for 24 hours), and your ready, empathetic response to her, truly made a depressing morning brightened with a few rays of hope.
I forgot to respond to your mention of music. I’m fairly eclectic in my tastes. In fact, since one grandson is very into Kendrick Lamar, I’ve been studying Lamar’s Superbowl half time show, by re-watching and reading online analyses. Since he has already won a Pulitzer, I shouldn’t be surprised at the layers of meaning below the surface within that performance. He truly is a visionary, and even though I don’t seek out his music, I’m enjoying learning that there’s a lot of politically subversive messaging going on. As Trump has taken over the Kennedy Center, it’s obvious once again that the arts can be a political weapon, both ways. And also just a simple pleasure and comfort.
Wonderful that your grandson can provide you guidance into the work of Kendrick Lamar!
About other great musicians taking a political stand:
I'm reminded of Beethoven crossing out his dedication to Napoleon on Symphony #3 when Napoleon declared himself emperor.
On the downside, did you hear that Trump also closed down the Kennedy Library? Not the Nixon Library, or the Reagan Library. I'm not sure whether that executive order has been reversed or not, but just the fact that it was issued in the first place is one more affront to history, education, and the arts.
Thanks, Doug, for letting me know I didn’t completely miss the mark by finding humor (bleak humor) in your written words. I feel for you, being surrounded by MAGAs. I live in Oregon, and they’re fewer in number here, although I had some fears of getting run down by a pickup truck when I attended our local President’s Day protest. I actually sent my adult children a reminder where my will is located. But the event was very strongly positive. I’d find it very difficult to have close family members who voted for Trump as you do, and feel fortunate not to deal with that burden. So many others here share that with you, apparently.
The attacks on science and health are so self-destructive and will be crippling for a long time. It’s been noted many times that destroying is easy; rebuilding is hard and time consuming. And the “official” lying is so egregious! I think the MAGA mindset of being “willing to die for Trump” will delay a correction even after the pain becomes obvious and personal.
As I told my children, we have the advantage of intelligence and education to hopefully give us survival tools. The uncertainty over the future is gnawing. My son is suffering huge self-recrimination for having brought life into this world, with a four year old and two year old to worry about. This really was the fabled make-or-break election. I struggle to find words of solace for him, without insulting his intelligence. I recently suggested he use a mindset of how he would parent a child with a terminal illness; he would give them the best life possible for whatever time they have left. What parent’s heart can survive that? He suffers for them, and I’m suffering for him.
Maybe ignorance is a better survival tool than intelligence?
I wish I had facile words for healing and hope. But that would just be more dishonesty. At least here we can share truth. For now. And the knowledge that we are not alone; that is surprisingly (and maybe illogically) comforting.
Let’s do our best with self-care. There’s no down side to that, and maybe even a future light. As you wrote; a few rays of hope. Be well, Doug, and thanks for your thoughts.
And thank you so much for your thoughtful words -- they touched me deeply.
And you have read me perfectly. I am indeed as depressed as I have been since the deaths of my parents two decades ago. I know... I should be happy I've been able to go that long without such a serious depression.
I understand completely how concerned your son is about the future for his children. Perhaps we can take some solace in the thought that enough people will begin to feel that same concern about their children and realize that, as our "child," this country is suffering from a deadly illness that requires all of us to work together to nurture it back to health. The Senators and Representatives must be the first and strongest to do so.
Thank you for your participation in the President's Day protest. I'm waiting for one close enough for me to join as well. Like you, I've told my sister where she can find all the necessary legal documents. She's happily agreed to adopt my pup as well, if necessary.
These are clearly depressing times. Unimagined even by those of us who knew this next Trump administration was going to be hell.