I don’t understand why masculinity has to be so bound to the penis? If young men are not getting “laid” then they are not “masculine?” This whole concept of the “penis” defining masculinity is beyond my comprehension. That is probably because I am female! I don’t define myself by my vagina. I am much more than what I can produce from my …
I don’t understand why masculinity has to be so bound to the penis? If young men are not getting “laid” then they are not “masculine?” This whole concept of the “penis” defining masculinity is beyond my comprehension. That is probably because I am female! I don’t define myself by my vagina. I am much more than what I can produce from my uterus! Men in this society have viewed women as nothing more than a “fuck” or a “baby maker.” You (men) created that over centuries! Now that women are saying “fuck you,” you are not worthy of my time, for whatever reason, that makes you feel less masculine? So now society is saying that you have to meet these “standards” of what is “hot.” Let’s just say that women have been living with this for decades, and you are just beginning to feel what it’s like be on the receiving end! Enjoy. This from a retired grandmother
I struggle with this. Women have put up with so much shit. We’ve worked our asses off. Now for what is about 30 seconds in human history guys need to compete and they are crumbling. The best part of me says, “Oh. I don’t want anyone to hurt. Let’s work this out.” Another part says, “Quit taking your shit out on women. Step up and compete. Be better. Stop with all the talk of rape, violence, and putting women in their place. Stop trying to push them out of the workplace - especially tech - just so you can delude yourself into thinking you’re better than you are.”
I’d love us to find a way forward that doesn’t take from one group to give to another. I don’t see enough men in public forums open to that - I think because they are socialized to the alpha, win-lose, mindframe.
This has been going on for generations of American men. If Gen Z men want someone to be pissed at, they need to look at the men in their lives who taught them entitlement and varying degrees of misogyny from the ingrained casual to the outright hate-filled. We have a serious problem with men of all generations in this country. (No, not all men. The culture of men.)
The answer cannot be to make women less just to make men feel better.
Mothers of young men are a big factor, too. A few mothers of sons that I know have shared their anger at their sons being “held back” with women and minorities “taking the spots” their sons expected to have based on history vs. merit.
Another topic for the podcast: How many Millenial and Gen Z women are bisexual and choosing marriage and partnership with other women. It’s not all about looks or money, which is probably more of a male rationalization based on our culture. It’s partly because they don’t want to take on mothering or carrying these men and they’ve worked hard to be financially and emotionally independent enough not to have to.
Well… of course. Following your own logic, being told “fuck you,” you are not worthy of my time, IS in fact demeaning and bruising to anyone, and in this case particularly to impressionable and inexperienced young men who yearn for companionship (and I dare say to young women who yearn for the same). I’m constantly astounded by how modern liberal discourse - despite talking a good game about gender equality - seems to assume we boys don’t have feelings, or hearts, or emotions like the girls do. There is a way to communicate lack of interest with grace and compassion - and of course, men ought to communicate romantic or sexual interest in a courteous, unthreatening way as well. Also men must learn how to clock, instinctively, when there is no interest - though I regret to say, from experience, that takes years to develop. As you’re a grandmother, I’d be curious to hear if you remember a time where social norms and practices around courtship were (perhaps) a little healthier - less inflamed and polarized by social media, less fear and loathing, less “fuck you” (no, fuck YOU)”. Though your last section seems to hint you don’t have good memories of those days, either.
I don’t understand why masculinity has to be so bound to the penis? If young men are not getting “laid” then they are not “masculine?” This whole concept of the “penis” defining masculinity is beyond my comprehension. That is probably because I am female! I don’t define myself by my vagina. I am much more than what I can produce from my uterus! Men in this society have viewed women as nothing more than a “fuck” or a “baby maker.” You (men) created that over centuries! Now that women are saying “fuck you,” you are not worthy of my time, for whatever reason, that makes you feel less masculine? So now society is saying that you have to meet these “standards” of what is “hot.” Let’s just say that women have been living with this for decades, and you are just beginning to feel what it’s like be on the receiving end! Enjoy. This from a retired grandmother
I struggle with this. Women have put up with so much shit. We’ve worked our asses off. Now for what is about 30 seconds in human history guys need to compete and they are crumbling. The best part of me says, “Oh. I don’t want anyone to hurt. Let’s work this out.” Another part says, “Quit taking your shit out on women. Step up and compete. Be better. Stop with all the talk of rape, violence, and putting women in their place. Stop trying to push them out of the workplace - especially tech - just so you can delude yourself into thinking you’re better than you are.”
I’d love us to find a way forward that doesn’t take from one group to give to another. I don’t see enough men in public forums open to that - I think because they are socialized to the alpha, win-lose, mindframe.
This has been going on for generations of American men. If Gen Z men want someone to be pissed at, they need to look at the men in their lives who taught them entitlement and varying degrees of misogyny from the ingrained casual to the outright hate-filled. We have a serious problem with men of all generations in this country. (No, not all men. The culture of men.)
The answer cannot be to make women less just to make men feel better.
Mothers of young men are a big factor, too. A few mothers of sons that I know have shared their anger at their sons being “held back” with women and minorities “taking the spots” their sons expected to have based on history vs. merit.
Another topic for the podcast: How many Millenial and Gen Z women are bisexual and choosing marriage and partnership with other women. It’s not all about looks or money, which is probably more of a male rationalization based on our culture. It’s partly because they don’t want to take on mothering or carrying these men and they’ve worked hard to be financially and emotionally independent enough not to have to.
Well… of course. Following your own logic, being told “fuck you,” you are not worthy of my time, IS in fact demeaning and bruising to anyone, and in this case particularly to impressionable and inexperienced young men who yearn for companionship (and I dare say to young women who yearn for the same). I’m constantly astounded by how modern liberal discourse - despite talking a good game about gender equality - seems to assume we boys don’t have feelings, or hearts, or emotions like the girls do. There is a way to communicate lack of interest with grace and compassion - and of course, men ought to communicate romantic or sexual interest in a courteous, unthreatening way as well. Also men must learn how to clock, instinctively, when there is no interest - though I regret to say, from experience, that takes years to develop. As you’re a grandmother, I’d be curious to hear if you remember a time where social norms and practices around courtship were (perhaps) a little healthier - less inflamed and polarized by social media, less fear and loathing, less “fuck you” (no, fuck YOU)”. Though your last section seems to hint you don’t have good memories of those days, either.